At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
