So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
