i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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