found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
