i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
