i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
