She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
