No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
