Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
