I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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