everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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