I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
