I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
