So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
