belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
