I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize