the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
