nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
