Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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