...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
