what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You made out with two different species that night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
