I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
