Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
