I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
