Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
