I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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