i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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