Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Randomize
