I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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