I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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