Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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