I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
