honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
