It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
