Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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