I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
should my penis look like a turkey
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
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