You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sober January is a disaster.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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