woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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