I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
