new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
