his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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