the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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