i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
