explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
