Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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