i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
