Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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