I'm jealous of your bromance
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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