Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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