I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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