im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Holy shit dude........stairs
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