Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
FUCK WHALES
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
