I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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